Chapter 7.5: Caerphilly Crafted

Hello dear readers and welcome back!  I apologize for the long(ish) delay, but real life has been terribly hectic recently but totally worth it because*toots horn* I got promoted!  But I’m pushing real life and the ever present demon of never ending work to the back drop so I can finally have some quality time with my Landgraabs!

Now if only I can remember all their names…

*ahem*

Let’s start with a Landgraab check because seriously I don’t even remember where we left off…

Vernon: Ohhhh… Look who’s here.  The great creator finally dains to grace us with her presence.

Ha ha ha.  Smart ass.  But it looks like you’re doing fine.

Vernon: I’m working on my handiness skill so that we can finally get into the grotto thing to get the rest of those gross slimy fish that you insist are important to my happiness.

Thanks for the reminder.  Carry on!

Hello Quinten.  How’s it hangin’?

Quinten: I made food!

Wow.  Things surely are exciting around here huh?

Quinten: Hey now. I didn’t burn the house down.

But that would have been such a better intro…

Quinten: Should I try again?

NO. No, no, no.  It’s ok.  I swear.  Not having the house burn down is a plus… I guess.

Britta!  What about you my darling, gorgeous girl?

Britta: This wall is like totally cool to stare at.

… *ahem*

Britta: We have done like zero development of my personality so I’m kinda floating here.  I’ve heard from Sidney I need a thing.  She has her faces, grandpa has his old man stuff, dad has his bad fish feelings.  I need a thing.

Noted.  I will work on it.

Britta: And until then I will continue to stare at this wall.

Sidney: *whistles*

Well at least your doing something… interesting I guess?

Sidney:  No matter how much I mop the water keeps coming.  It’s like magic!

Oh dear.  Shower’s still broken.  VERNON!  Come put your handiness skill to good use.

Sidney: Don’t do that!  Then the magic will stop.

Ok, everyone around here needs a hobby.

Wait, that was one, two, and…

Crap.

So I guess the baby was born… And grew up…

Man, I’m good at this huh?

So everyone meets Kylee!  Last of the newest Landgraab brood.  I hope.  Three is plenty.

Kylee: Hello world.  I want to be friends with you all!

Kylee here is a Social Butterfly (kill me) and Outgoing.  I guess it fits.

And who are we missing still?  Oh yeah, Ashlynn!

Ashlynn: Velle!  Want to see a funny cheese video?

… That exists?

Ashlynn: You should know they have everything on the internet.

Touche.  Touche.

And that leaves…

Belle: I am having the WORST DAY EVER.

Oh?

Belle: I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS.

Oof.  Weren’t you set to retire?

Belle: YES.  But someone forgot I got that last promotion so here I am.  In EPIDEMIC CENTER.  My old immune system can’t handle this.

Lies.  You have the otherwise useless Sickness Resistance trait.  So get to it girl.

Belle: *grumble*grumble*grumble*

Random Townie: Um doctor lady?!!! HALP.

Belle: Christ girl, calm your tits.  He’s getting up already.  Everything is fine.

Random Townie: Noooooo.  He’s an ALIEN!  HALP.  We’re being invaded.

Belle: *face palm*

King: Thanks Belle. These human diseases.  Yeesh.

Belle: No worries.  Tell Teagan I said hi.

King: Oh, Belle.  I’m so sorry.  Teagan passed on.  But her ghost is still around.  And we’re pretty happy.

Belle: … Death is everywhere.

Probably not thing you want to be hearing from your doctor.

 

Later on at the neighborhood toy store…

Simye West: Yo, Taylor.  Ya know, I’m really happy for you and Ima let you finish but..

Ashlynn: Ashlynn.  Not Taylor.  And who are you?

Simye:  Whoa by 50 percent I am more influential than Stanley Kubrick, Apostle Paul, Picasso… f-ing Picasso and Escobar. By 50 per cent more influential than any other human being.

Ashlynn: … What are you even saying?

Simye: I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.

Ashlynn: Yeah…  I just wanted to buy some toys.

Simye: I made that bitch famous.

  Ashlynn: I think you need help.

And then the most amazing thing happened.  While Simye was harassing Ashlynn (which, let’s be honest, I had hoped for when I dropped him into the game)…

He started talking about himself.  And only himself.  I can’t make this stuff up.

 

And that dear readers is where I’ll leave you.  I realize this chapter was kinda sparse/short/sad for a long awaited update… But there are exciting things coming for the Landgraabs and soon!  Promise.

Until next time, happy simming!